Monday, July 11, 2011

This is not what I had asked for, this is not what I was expecting.
But I guess this is a cost I got to pay for the stand I'm taking for my faith. I will be entering into a new chapter of life that I strongly believe is ordained by God. But my parents are not supportive of it as is in their eyes, I'm doing the most horrible thing of marrying a born again believer. I understand their views and fully respect. But I know I have to take this plunge.

I'm a bundle of nerves right now; totally stressed out. But I keep reminding myself that God is in control and that He will change my parents' hearts around.

I really hope my dad will walk me down the aisle :'(

the count down has already begun.... and I have mixed feelings about it.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Be Still my soul, Be still


This song is simply a prayer for me, from me. It's the first time I'm listening to it and the simple words are exactly how I'm trying to word my prayers right now.

Be still, my soul, Be still... http://bit.ly/aoo4ub

Be still my soul be still

Be still my soul be still

wait patiently upon the Lord

be still my soul, be still

When the waves rise against me and the wind tries to draw me away

I will stand on the mountain, safe in Your arms

I will sing, I will sing

Friday, March 4, 2011

Raw with God


Ever experienced those times when its just you and God? You are completely alone with Him, no one knows that you are alone. Once you're with Him, its just coming raw before Him. Tears flow naturally, feelings out pour, emotions run wild, thoughts all over the place; yet it seems good.

I had such a time last night. I was watching a movie 'Caramel'- a Lebanese movie. I have been going through a rough patch and had been bottling up my feelings for sometime. A scene in the movie triggered it all, and I was just sobbing. The scene wasn't that emotional, to be honest, but to me, it was something that I have been praying about. Luckily it was towards the end of the movie; so I ended it, n just spent time alone, by myself. And man, was there a rush of tears. I couldn't hold it any longer. I kept asking God many questions, told him all my fears and hopes, kept reminding myself that I should be 'at rest' because all that has to be done is already done by God.

God then told me to read John 2. It was about the wedding at Cana. A familiar story, learnt it from Sunday School days. But the two things are struck out at me was that Jesus mentioned "His time hadn't come (vs 4)" and "he turned water into wine...only so that His glory was revealed (vs 11)". Jesus clearly said it wasn't His time...anyone would think either He didn't want to be bothered by it or that He wouldn't do anything simply 'cos it wasn't 'His time'. But nevertheless, He did a miracle just minutes or hours from the statement He made in verse 4. To me, those minutes or hours (I don't know how long it took for the servants to arrange for those water jars and stuff) were really important. Minutes, hours- they seem insignificant to a story like this, but to Jesus it was vital. Those minutes or hours would reveal His true glory and it did. Simple, no-frills water was turned to rich, sweet wine. The impossible was achieved.

I felt Jesus telling me that it's only a matter of time for Him and time is vital for His glory to be revealed. I have seen this in many previous instances in my life; its only through time that we all see how glorious He is, how powerful He is and more importantly, how loving He is.

After a good 30-45 minutes of tears and sobs, I fell into a deep slumber with Hope :)


What's last minute for the world is perfect minute for God!