When I look back at 2008, there were instances about which I could have regularly blogged about, but I never did simply because I never felt like it. I can trace back to January 2008 where I pretty much went off track from Him.
But He still stayed and watched me as I went through the thorny roads.
I hurt and bruised myself especially when I clearly knew that I was traversing down the wrong path. I knew the tears were streaming down His cheeks, but I turned a blind eye to it. I could not bear to see Him like that, but I just wanted to ‘live for the moment’.
Had I continued down that the lane, I would have headed straight for danger. If it weren’t for Him to give me a conscience that was siren-clear, I would have kept on walking blindly. It was then that He intervened simply because I was out of His radar and it was His time to move in. By March, things took a drastic turn and within minutes, I was on my knees begging for forgiveness. And He did…He forgave me and loved me like always. I restrained from any wrong desire that came my way and He honored it, manifold times. I was blessed to do some stuff that I had always desired to do.
Soon it was mid-year. He still never left me. Even when I was all alone, literally (my folks went on vacation), He was with me. I was always scared of the dark. His presence helped me get over this childhood fear. He was not only with me, but He was also with my family. On their return, their stories were not all rosy. Some were bleak and scary. Yet in that darkness, He was there with them. He never left them even when they felt they were all alone. He was with us, always.
October-November-December…these months had their own surprises in store for me. But I never realized how 2009 would open up for me till I reached December 18th when I was asked to leave Bahrain. I knew it was time for something to happen. I entered 2009 hopeful yet uncertain as the ensuing days were going to be a test of my faith and personal strength. I took one of my first riskiest decisions in my life on 8th January 2009. As I pen this down, I have nothing as my back up. The road up ahead is blurry and uncertain. At times, I’m hopeful. At times, I’m hopeless.
I try to keep the lyrics in my mind- “ I have found myself a hiding place, I have found myself a secret space, In the presence of Almighty’s love, In the safety of the savior’s arms”. But then I again lose my footing and slip. The only shred of hope, a sliver so to speak, is just the true fact that He is there and He is carrying me through…
So 2009 here I come…
